The Problem With Type A Personality

I definitely have a Type A personality! I really like to be in control! Like many people, the current economy has been very challenging for my husband and I this year. Right now I am at a point where the money that is coming in doesn't not match the money that needs to go out to pay the bills. I'm feeling anxious about it. The thing is, I was in the same position last month. It feels uncomfortably familiar.

So right now. not feeling in control, has me on an emotional roller coaster. I am fighting the urge to descend into despair, depression, fear, and hopelessness. As I study more about Abundance and Prosperity and Spirit I look for the real lesson in this experience. Money came to me when I needed it last month. In fact, money has always come to me when I needed it. Sometimes not as quickly as I would have liked, in order to feel in control of my world, but it gets here in the nick of time. It always, always has...So then why am I so upset and worried?

I think there are several lessons to be learned here. One is to have Patience and the other is to Let Go of Control. The third is to Let Others Help. When I am anxious the urge to step it up, take charge, use force to get things tight really surges through my mind. It's as if I am the only person who can rectify the situation, the only one who can manifest, and I am alone. The fact is that this is not true. I am not alone. I am in a relationship with another person, a person who can contribute to our mutual well-being. When I rush to take control and solve all the problems because of my own anxiety and "If you want something done right, do it yourself" attitude, how does that affect the outcome? How does that enable my spouse to do what he can do to help? How does that build my faith in him?

Today I am forced to accept that I cannot do it alone. I need help. And I need to step back and allow my husband to step up and provide the help and manifest on his own. I need to focus not on what I can do for myself, but what I can do to help him manifest. I need to visualize his success, not my being in control of everything. If I had done that 30 years ago and let him blossom at his own pace and follow his muse to success, I wonder where we would be now?

We're on a new pat together now. We're studying the Science of Getting Rich and the Science of Being Great, and As a Man Thinketh. It encourages both of us to examine our notions about what prosperity is and where it comes from and how to create more of it. I am impressed as I watch us both manifesting wealth in new ways.

I recently did a visualization that I read about in a book. Th visualization is about seeing your Success ship coming into your harbor, loaded with all the things you have desired to be successful at. It was a wonderful visualization which left me feeling reassured, protected, and hopeful. The thing is, my ship really is out there! It's just not on the horizon where I can look up and see it. But I sense that it is out there. All I need to do is relax, take each day as it comes - and today is taken care of already, and enjoy the abundance that presents itself in my life every day. My ship is in motion and it is coming toward me. And one day, after I have stopped fretting and demanding to know "Where is that ship and why hasn't it gotten here already? It should have been here yesterday!" I will look up and see that it right there! It will come at exactly the right time. And all will be well.

In the meantime, today I have gloried in the feeling of strength and well-being that springs forth after going to the gym and working out in the morning. And tonight I will glory in the creative energy that flows through me as I spend an evening focused on painting art that reflects the beauty of the day. And all will be well.