Generosity, Need, and Having "Enough"

I did something unusual this month. It would not have been so unusual for someone else, but it was for me. Unfortunately, I don't really consider myself a very "generous" person. I've been too wrapped up in scrambling to get "mine", get more than "enough" and have something left over, have felt too independent and prideful, and too ashamed when I haven't had "enough" through my own efforts. 2009 has not really helped me to move beyond the "scarcity" mind set. But then again...I suppose it really has!

Money has been on the scarce end of things since last Christmas when my landlord decided to try to evict us. We've been fighting with him, paying past due rent, and withstanding the stress for 12 entire months. This included a few nasty little tricks pulled by the landlord, such as not cashing a check for 2 months and then filing another eviction order for non-payment of rent.

Nevertheless, we have prevailed and I have become a more spiritual person. I know take full advantage of angelic intervention, try to keep my personal vibrations high and positive, express my gratitude for all that I have been given already, made a vision board and communicated my intentions to make changes in my life and attitude. And it all has come together in such a rich way! A rich way as in manifesting an additional $10,000 this year to meet my financial obligations. And a rich way as in really feeling more positive about my life and my future.

What I didn't expect was that this richness would make me a more generous person,in ways beyond just money.

My long-term friend wrote me several letters this year and we both were deeply stressed by financial pressures. Her family house is at risk of foreclosure. She has grown up in that house! If that wasn't enough, in her last letter she told me that she had no heat and the upstairs family member's apartment had no gas. This, in December! I hated reading that letter! She didn't deserve to live like this! I used to think that I was the only one suffering under similar circumstances several years ago. I thought everyone else had an easier time of it. I thought that my trials were somehow related to my bad choices or my husband's bad choices and I was very depressed and hopeless. I hated to read the same thoughts coming from my friend.

She wrote me that she wanted to come to a holiday brunch that we were having to celebrate the abundance that we had come to appreciate in our lives in 2009. She needed to be around some positive people for a while. I decided that I would help her. I had just resolved our financial issues with the landlord and I felt good about how 2009 was ending.

So when she came to the party, I gave her a Christmas present. We don't usually exchange gifts, so she was surprised to get a git from me. Little did she know that the gift of a cat mug also had $100 tucked inside it. I figured she could either use it to treat herself or to pay a bill, or maybe even to help her to get her heat turned back on. My friend didn't open the gift then and there, so I had to wait for her reaction.

A day later she sent me an email thinking me for the gift. Then she sent me a letter where she thanked me some more and told me that her mouth had dropped open when she saw the money. She was thinking that there must have been some mistake! (So, I guess, in her world, nobody gives her $100...except now I've changed her world into one where someone certainly DOES give her $100!) And today I got another little note from her, still saying Thank You, Thank You.

I'm glad that I was able to give her the money. It wasn’t that I was so flush with bucks at Christmas time, but I remembered when another friend helped me earlier this year by providing money when I needed it, instantly, and with no questions or comments or suggestions about how to live my life better. I appreciated it then and I wanted to extend that gift further out into the world to help someone else. I'm glad to know that I have changed her world.

That's one incident. Now I've noticed that I am also changing into a person who is more generous in spirit, too. Another friend asked me to cat sit for her while she went to Mexico for a week. I wasn't really interested. She doesn't live close to me, I'd have to go after work and I'm tired enough at the end of the day to not want to add an extra task to my list. But she asked again when she couldn't find anyone else to help out for the last 2 days of her trip. So I agreed to do it, because i knew she really needed me to do it. So last night when it was 0 degrees and blustery outside, I went to her house and cared for her kitties. I did it again tonight, including cleaning the litter pan, wiping up vomited hairballs, and accidents outside of the litter pan. I know that the kitties appreciated it. They were so happy to see me! And I know that she will appreciate it as well.

I guess what I'm learning is that we really don't operate in a vacuum. We all need each other. My thinking is going beyond the whole nuclear family idea. My friends are becoming my family and we all try to treat each other well. I'm learning that it makes the world a better place and it makes me feel connected to the people that I care about and care about me. It's a good lesson to learn.

Abundance Is All Around Me!

I'm full of gratitude for the abundance that is streaming into my life!! We just got a new addition to the family! On Monday night my friend called me and told me that she had found a little tiny kitten in her backyard. It was crying at 4 AM and she brought it into her home. But she knew she couldn't keep it. She spent the whole day calling "no kill" shelters and they were all full. It's kitten season, so I guess they are very busy. She called me and casually asked "Do you think you might like a little kitty?" WOULD I??!! Al and I have been longing for a kitten for the past 4 months! We'd been searching through PetFinder and CraigsList periodically but we discovere4d that you have to move fast! Whenever we called, it was too late.

Then I started looking for adoption fairs. But it seemed like we were just not supposed to find our perfect kitty there. Every time I looked, we had just missed an adoption fair the weekend before. Then one of the psychiatrists at work showed me some pictures of some kittens that were in her backyard. They were a little old and I wondered how well socialized they were. The Dr. had not been trying to socialize them. So we passed up those kittens.

My friend's call was totally out of the blue! Well, that's how abundance comes to you sometimes. Al and I went to her house when I finished work for the day and it was love at first sight! So we came home with an adorable little long-haired black female kitten. And she has been bringing so much joy and bliss into the house! Even the 4 yr. old boy cat likes her. They have started to play and he has tried to wash her. By next week she will probably be his baby as much as she is ours.

The process of learning how to care for a 4 week old kitten has been exciting. We've been to the vet and she is healthy and free of diseases. Al had taught her how to use her little litter box. She learned her name (Mandy) by Day 2 and she comes running when you call her! She has us all wrapped around her little paw. I'm lovin' it!

Happy Thoughts Lead to Better Problem Solving

"We experience the deeper, more generic, human feelings that are generated from a natural state of mind: contentment, love, and gratitude. This is a state in which we see life clearly....We can do anything in this state of mind (including unpleasant things) because our minds are not cluttered with thoughts of the past, the future, or judgments about how we are doing. We deal with whatever is before us. This is the state of mind from which new and creative ideas evolve, and where solutions to problems seem obvious." by Richard Carlson, Ph.D in You Can Be Happy No Matter What: 5 Principles for Keeping Life in Perspective.

I have experienced this myself and the results are extraordinary. I have solved problems, accessed more money, paid unpleasant bills and made difficult decisions, held difficult conversations when starting from a state of positive energy and joy. Solutions materialized from my mind after I had struggled and struggled and thought there truly was no way out. Miraculous!

Life can be so much easier when you approach it with an attitude of gratitude, embrace the joys in your life, and remain planted in the moment.

The Problem With Type A Personality

I definitely have a Type A personality! I really like to be in control! Like many people, the current economy has been very challenging for my husband and I this year. Right now I am at a point where the money that is coming in doesn't not match the money that needs to go out to pay the bills. I'm feeling anxious about it. The thing is, I was in the same position last month. It feels uncomfortably familiar.

So right now. not feeling in control, has me on an emotional roller coaster. I am fighting the urge to descend into despair, depression, fear, and hopelessness. As I study more about Abundance and Prosperity and Spirit I look for the real lesson in this experience. Money came to me when I needed it last month. In fact, money has always come to me when I needed it. Sometimes not as quickly as I would have liked, in order to feel in control of my world, but it gets here in the nick of time. It always, always has...So then why am I so upset and worried?

I think there are several lessons to be learned here. One is to have Patience and the other is to Let Go of Control. The third is to Let Others Help. When I am anxious the urge to step it up, take charge, use force to get things tight really surges through my mind. It's as if I am the only person who can rectify the situation, the only one who can manifest, and I am alone. The fact is that this is not true. I am not alone. I am in a relationship with another person, a person who can contribute to our mutual well-being. When I rush to take control and solve all the problems because of my own anxiety and "If you want something done right, do it yourself" attitude, how does that affect the outcome? How does that enable my spouse to do what he can do to help? How does that build my faith in him?

Today I am forced to accept that I cannot do it alone. I need help. And I need to step back and allow my husband to step up and provide the help and manifest on his own. I need to focus not on what I can do for myself, but what I can do to help him manifest. I need to visualize his success, not my being in control of everything. If I had done that 30 years ago and let him blossom at his own pace and follow his muse to success, I wonder where we would be now?

We're on a new pat together now. We're studying the Science of Getting Rich and the Science of Being Great, and As a Man Thinketh. It encourages both of us to examine our notions about what prosperity is and where it comes from and how to create more of it. I am impressed as I watch us both manifesting wealth in new ways.

I recently did a visualization that I read about in a book. Th visualization is about seeing your Success ship coming into your harbor, loaded with all the things you have desired to be successful at. It was a wonderful visualization which left me feeling reassured, protected, and hopeful. The thing is, my ship really is out there! It's just not on the horizon where I can look up and see it. But I sense that it is out there. All I need to do is relax, take each day as it comes - and today is taken care of already, and enjoy the abundance that presents itself in my life every day. My ship is in motion and it is coming toward me. And one day, after I have stopped fretting and demanding to know "Where is that ship and why hasn't it gotten here already? It should have been here yesterday!" I will look up and see that it right there! It will come at exactly the right time. And all will be well.

In the meantime, today I have gloried in the feeling of strength and well-being that springs forth after going to the gym and working out in the morning. And tonight I will glory in the creative energy that flows through me as I spend an evening focused on painting art that reflects the beauty of the day. And all will be well.

Unexpected Abundance

I sold a painting on Monday! It's been 20 years since I was even thinking in that direction, but I started really wanting to show my work to other people about a year ago. I had no plan, no real idea how to start. I thought it was all about getting into a gallery and I thought that was impossible!

In the past 10 weeks I've been studying and focusing on building my abundance. Money wasn't dropping out of the sky, but I was able to manage my financial responsibilities much better than before. I was more comfortable with problem-solving one step at a time and bit by bit each day.

I made a vision board. The board included my interest in art and creating art. I was looking at the board as I thought of it and fairly regularly. I was making art and feeling good about it. I was generating ideas for more and more creative projects. All that was fine by me and I wasn't expecting more.

Then, lo and behold, one of my husband's students came by our house. He was commenting on the paintings that are all over the apartment, each done by me. We started talking and I realized that he was actually serious about buying a painting! I reached for the opportunity! I had 2 small paintings that were already professionally framed. I showed them to him and he bought one on the spot! This unexpected sale is the culmination of 10 weeks of work studying the Law of Abundance, the Science of Getting Rich, and other similar writing by Wallace B. Wattles and James Allen.

I encourage any curious people who want to improve the quality of their life to read The Science of Getting Rich. I was somewhat skeptical at first. I've read Napoleon Hill and never could apply it. But Wattles' message is ultra clear and it still applies to today's world.

Here's a link to this wonderful little book:
http://www.scienceofgettingrich.net/gifts/its_yours.html