Taking Stock

I've been overwhelmed by trying to stretch my paycheck twice as far as it can actually go. The stress of that has been driving me a little crazy. Every morning I wake up to questioning thoughts about how I will manage to pay all the blls. Well, yesterday we went to BJs. We stocked up on most staples and metas, the only "treats" were about $15' worth of cookies and an inkjet cartridge (not really a "treat"). I spent $350. This was with replacing things that we haven't bought since the summer because our trips to BJs have been limited to $100-150 a month. So, now we are set for a while. But I was not feeling satisfied as I usually do. We did not find many things that we usually look for and we had to substitute for what was available. And it didn't seem that there was enough "stuff" to be worth $350.But I know we did the best we could and that buying these things in a local supermarket would have been much more.

I have given myself permission to let goof things that weigh me down.  This morning I was thinking about the credit cards. I just can't afford to make the payments right now. And I can't afford to make the payment plus the late fee plus the now-due next payment. It boggles your mind how hard it is to catch up after just one missed payment. So, I decided that for now I have to just let go of worrying about the credit cards. Maybe some of them will get closed by the bank. But they have been maxxed out or close to maxxed for a while now, so I am not losing anything. I started thinking to myself "Well, there will be a day when I can write checks to pay off all of them"....Then I started thinking "I can't wait for the day to come that I can write a check to pay them all off and not have to worry about living with a credit card!" That was so empowering! It supports the letting go, it supports who I am as a person (I am not a bad or irresponsible person, just a "broke" person who is forced to do too much on one salary), and it promises a much better future.

From there I started thinking about how much I can't wait for us to move into our wonderful home in Detroit. And I realized that the house doesn't have a verandah, which is on my vision board. So, what did I do? I decided that we'll have to buy another house, the sumemr house with the verandah, so that I can lose track of the time while sitting on my verandah. It's a wonderful life to look forward to!

Being In Flow

There's such a flow of abundance coming in now!  At the end of last month we got a ruling from the rent control board deeming that we had indeed been overcharged rent for the past almost 5 years!  The correct rent is now less than we paid when we first moved in!  So now we are living rent-free until the excess is accounted for.  I've been able to catch up on the most pressing bills and have even planned some quickie weekend trips in April.  It's such a relief to be able to breathe again and I feel that my breathing is now at a deeper level than it has been in over a year.

We really like to take advantage of the huge savings at the big box food warehouse stores and we have been able to make a monthly trip there for the past 2 months.  Wow!  Loads of rolls of t.p. and paper towels, biggie sizes of laundry detergent and dish soap, huge rolls of aluminum foil!  All of the things that are over-priced in the neighborhood stores.  Plus, meats!  The quality of the meat and poultry is so much better.  I love not having to make a weekly trek out to the local store and then have to decide what I can manage to bring home in a shopping cart.

Tonight I went to Macy's for a One Day Sale.  I needed a wardrobe overhaul, so I decided to go just to see what was there.  I wasn't expecting to find as much as I did.  I bought $325' worth of tops and pants - 5 pants and 7 tops in all.  It was all on sale and I only paid $175 for the whole pile of clothes.  I haven't done that in a few years and I had been missing it.  There's nothing like finding a bargain that you like and that actually looks good on you!

I can't wait to see what's coming over the horizon!

Snowed In and Makin' Art!

I had 2 weeks of vacation to use by March 1 or I'd have to forfeit it. I couldn't afford to go anywhere that's warm and sunny. I didn't want to go anywhere that was grey, cloudy, and cold! As it turned out, I got to enjoy that right at home here in New York City! But I had my plan to make this a great vacation, no matter what. I'm always lamenting about not having enough time in the week for all the things that need to get done PLUS have time for art. Well, I've been noticing that the balance has been changing over the past 2 months or so. It's changing because I am making the choices that make it easier for me to do art. For this vacation I decided that I wanted to create a collage and make more greeting cards.

I planned out exactly what prep steps I needed to do in order to really make the collage. I chose the photos, got the copies made, bought my acrylic mediums and paint, consulted my art books. I was ready! That's more "ready" than I've been in a long time! It felt good. The act of just preparing to create was a release in itself. It counted as "being creative".



As the snow came down, and came down, and came down...I set to work last week. I was able to complete the collage if about 4 days. So, now I have a total of 3 collages that are all mine!

The past 3 days have been a total card-making extravaganza! I've been experimenting with stamping and embossing, blending colors, color compliments and color families, pushing my creative edge. I've had some ugly mistakes and some real beauties. There have been enough beauties for me to have incentive to make more and to use the same technique with different colors. I've been pushing myself to work with what I have on hand - which is quite a lot of paper and stamps, and a ton of reference books at hand.

The energy that this created has been awesome! It was enough for me to search online for card boxes and stretchy cords, and to list my cards on Etzy.com. I've had an inactive shop for months because everything seemed to be too complicated. Suddenly, it wasn't complicated today. The shop is open and there are 3 designs available. And I till have the entire weekend to do more cards!

I was an artist this week. I fed mt soul. I feel satisfied and abundant. Not everyone can be creative and they don't understand the healing power of art from a personal point of view. I wish they could. Creativity is inside all of us and it costs nothing. You can create on paper envelopes, shopping bags, napkins. You can use a simple pencil. A doodle is art. A bunch of doodles all together tell a story. The story can be told in words. Everything all comes together.

My Library!

Wow! The internet is turning into my personal library without walls. Each little experiment yields an amazing amount of information! Today I was just thinking about collage backgrounds and I decided to look up Google images of collages. It was like opening a door to infinite ideas! Through the images I discovered blogs written by other artists who are exploring using image transfers, just like me. It's amazing how you can reach out and touch someone far away and find a fellow traveler along your life path, so easily. I'm lovin' it!